held

a coaching program for the deep work of becoming who you want to be in love.

most dating advice skips the most important part: you.

we don't believe you need more tips. we believe you need a guide, a mirror, and a practice. a Coach who's alongside you — not just in the sessions, but in the actual moments of your dating life. that's what we built this for.

this is a journey,
not a service.

three phases, designed to move you from seeing yourself more clearly — to actually showing up differently.

1

foundational work

who you are + how you got here

we start at the root. your origin story and the imprints it left. your relational history — the archetypes, the Imago, the patterns you keep repeating. your wounds and shadows, and specifically where they show up in love. we name them, so they stop running the show. from there, we set intentions: what are you actually trying to rewire? what risks are you ready to take?

up to 2 sessions / month access to MD 101 async text + voice note w your coach goal setting
2

the dating lab

we're with you as you go

this is where the real work happens — in the sessions, and between them. you're dating; we're right there with you. processing what came up after a date. noticing when the old patterns surface. naming what your body is telling you that your mind is trying to talk you out of. this is where theory becomes lived experience.

up to 2 sessions / month structured 1:1 coaching async text + voice note w your coach
3

integration

bringing it all forward

what's been seen can't be unseen. this phase is about locking in what's changed — in how you show up, what you tolerate, what you ask for, what you trust. integration isn't the end of the work; it's the beginning of a new baseline. you leave this phase different than you arrived.

up to 2 sessions / month structured 1:1 coaching async text + voice note w your coach
Coaching Only

the coaching journey

for those ready to do the inner work. matchmaking can be added at any time.

3 months · phase I

In Practice

$650/mo
$1,950 total · 6 sessions
  • Foundational work: origin story, Imago, archetypes
  • Pattern + shadow identification
  • Goal-setting + dating intentions
  • Up to 2 sessions/month (6 total)
  • Async text + voice note w your coach
  • Access to MD 101
Get Started
9 months · phases I – III

The Full Journey

$500/mo
$4,500 total · 18 sessions
  • Complete three-phase arc
  • Foundational work through full integration
  • Up to 2 sessions/month (18 total)
  • Async text + voice note w your coach
  • Access to MD 101
  • One reset session if things plateau
Get Started

pay in full and save 5%. all plans are a committed investment — monthly billing is a payment plan, not a subscription. read our commitment policy ↓

we have a matchmaking program called Feels Pair'd.

it's built on the same psycho-spiritual framework as the coaching. when you combine the two, you're not just working on yourself in theory. you have actual matches, real dates, and a coach in your corner through all of it. so the inner work and the outer practice are in sync. to find out if pair'd is right for you, learn more here.

explore pair'd
Our Commitment Policy

we ask for your full presence.

when you enroll, you're committing to the full program — 3, 6, or 9 months. monthly billing is a payment plan, not a subscription you can cancel. this isn't a technicality; it's a reflection of what the work actually requires. transformation doesn't happen in a month, and we've designed these programs accordingly.

your coach shows up fully for you from day one. we ask the same in return.

the compassionate carve-out.

we're humans, and so are you. if something significant and unforeseen happens in your life — a serious health event, a major loss, an unexpected crisis — we will always find a way to work with you. we can pause your program, restructure your payments, or find another arrangement that honors both your situation and the container we've built together. reach out. we'll figure it out.

what people are saying

"Absolutely it was worth it. I got the outcome I wanted — a unique, interesting learning opportunity. I really liked the coaching aspect."
— C

Meet Your Coaches

Allie Hoffman
Allie Hoffman
Allie Hoffman

Allie Hoffman, MArts, Psychology

For nearly 20 years, Allie's work has focused on systems change. In her 30's, Allie ran a digital marketing agency; as founder of the Equality Equation, media she produced or directed has been viewed more than 150 million times, and changed laws in 33 different states. EE's clients included Alicia Keys, Charlize Theron, Pharrell Williams, Caitlyn Jenner, Jose Andres, and more.

In 2021, Allie transitioned from building digital → IRL movements, and began focusing exclusively at the intersection of modern dating x inner work x community. Her flagship offering, 'the feels', was launched in Aug 2022 and since then has hosted thousands of people in NYC, LA, SF, DC, Philly, Chicago + Miami.

On a weekly basis, Allie publishes a Substack that is read by thousands; in addition to press coverage that 'the feels' has received in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, USA Today and many more, Allie's media appearances include Fox32 Chicago, Fox 29 Philadelphia, the Hollywood Hamilton Show, the News Movement, and her speaking appearances include Summit at Sea, and Northwestern University Kellogg's School of Management, among others.

Allie holds an undergraduate degree in political science from the University of Southern California and a Masters Degree in Spiritual Psychology from Columbia University. To follow her on IG: @alliehoffman.

Beth Foley
Beth Foley
Beth Foley

Beth is a trauma-informed somatic educator, therapist, and facilitator passionate about guiding humans toward feeling more at home in their bodies and more connected in their relationships. She holds deep reverence for emergent experience—the magic that happens when we show up fully, in real time. Her work invites participants into deeper embodiment, honest relating, and authentic discovery.

With an extensive background in business strategy and consulting, she skillfully bridges structure and intuition, creating containers that honor both process and transformation. Her entrepreneurial spirit led her to cofound Resilient Recovery, an innovative program integrating somatic nervous system work with addiction recovery to address root causes and center trauma-informed practice.

When she's not immersed in her work, you'll likely find her dancing, hiking, and exploring the landscapes of Northern California and beyond.

Lauren Hauser
Lauren Hauser
Lauren Hauser

Lauren is a relationship and dating coach, experience designer, and facilitator whose work sits at the intersection of behavioral science, developmental psychology, and somatic awareness. ICF-credentialed, New Ventures West trained, and shaped by over 15 years in learning design, executive development, and collaborative work with coaching and research teams in the modern dating space - she brings a warm, grounded presence to everything she holds.

Her work is rooted in the belief that the way we relate to others is always a reflection of how we relate to ourselves, and that returning to that inner ground is where real relational change begins. She draws on attachment theory, somatic awareness, and emotional intelligence to help people understand the patterns shaping how they love, connect, and show up in relationships - and she's committed to helping you turn what you discover into new behaviors and relational skills. Self-knowledge, in her world, is a practice, not a conclusion.

Beyond 1:1 work, Lauren produces Connection Lab, a monthly co-gendered gathering dedicated to more vulnerable relating, and works with organizations navigating the relational dimensions of leadership and culture. She writes, lives in an intentional community in Oakland, and is always, in some form, designing the next room where people get to be a little more human together.

a few things people ask

do i have to do coaching + matchmaking together?

no — you can do coaching-only, or you can do coaching + matchmaking together as a bundle. however, matchmaking isn't available on its own. the two work best in sync, and we've designed the programs that way. if you're not sure which is right for you, book a call and we'll help you figure it out.

how does the commitment contract work?

when you enroll, you sign an agreement for the full program term. monthly billing is a payment installment — not a cancellable subscription. this protects you (and us) — it keeps you in the work through the moments when it gets hard, which is usually exactly when the most important shifts happen. we do have a compassionate carve-out policy for genuine hardship situations.

who are the coaches?

your coach is a Feels Guide — someone trained in our methodology, which draws from Imago theory, somatic work, shadow work, and attachment science. you'll be introduced to your guide at the start of the program.

how do i get started?

hit apply. you'll be invited to a short discovery call so we can make sure the program is the right fit — and so you can ask us anything. we only enroll people we believe we can genuinely serve.